


Don’t You Dare Forget The Sun, Love

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mature because things get a teeny bit spicy, Past Relationship(s), it was an accident but it reads nice so whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:59:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29817732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: Kenny feels lost, and makes a bad decision.Hangman feels worried, and makes a worse one.Somehow, it works out okay
Relationships: Kenny Omega/"Hangman" Adam Page
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Don’t You Dare Forget The Sun, Love

Kenny has a lot of regrets.

When you've been at the top as long as he has, you're bound to. There's so many moments he wishes he could change, but the past is the past. 

His treatment of Adam stuck out as one of his worst offences. There was no excuse for the way he had treated him. The Cleaner hadn't interfered at all, and somehow, that was the worse part. There was no scapegoat, he'd just been a terrible friend and a worse boyfriend. 

He feels like shit for it, too. He would apologise, but he doesn't think Adam wants to hear it. He doesn't know what he would say if Adam did.

He settles for a cryptic text.

_Someone, somewhere, is fighting for you. So long as you always remember that, you'll never be alone._

It's short, but it portrays everything he wants to say, even though he doesn't really know exactly what it means. All he knows is that it is heartfelt and meaningful. 

He doesn't expect a response, he doesn't need one. Kenny is content now, he has told him, in his subtle little way, that he still believes in him, that he still loves him, that he's sorry. And that's enough. 

Adam has finally found people that love him the way he deserves. Unconditionally, and with only the best intentions. They make him laugh so hard he cries for all the right reasons. Kenny knows that the Dark Order will take care of him, he knows they'll love him and get him out of this hole he's in. 

Adam won't want or need Kenny anymore. Something about that makes his chest tighten. Regardless, there's no need to barge his way into this situation. They're both doing well for themselves, why complicate things? 

Kenny can't help but feel like Adam has the better end of the deal. Sure, he has the title, but he's not exactly surrounded by people who adore him. Matt and Nick are one bad day from giving up on him, and who could blame them? 

He's trying his best to manage everything, but he's had so much to do lately, what with Don piling on the pressure.

He knows they don't like Don. He doesn't understand why, all Don has done is be supportive of him. Maybe they're afraid he'll leave them? Surely they must know that they need each other. Kenny could never leave them. 

Maybe Kenny is the one who needs them. Maybe they don't need him anymore, maybe they don't think he's worth the trouble of keeping. He's not, he never has been, but he thought they knew that. Maybe they're only just realising.

He knows he's not easy to love, he knows he's complicated, he knows he's a pain in the ass, but the one thing he has going for him is how much he cares. How deeply he loves. 

It's been more of a curse than a blessing, recently.

He buries his head into the pillow. He doesn't want to think about him, not now. Anything but him, please. Kenny doesn't think he can take that, not when he's scattered into pieces in this way. His mind won't stop whirring away, the cogs won't stop turning, no matter how many times he tries to jam something in-between the teeth.

When he bottles everything up like this, he goes one of two ways. It's always all or nothing with Kenny, the man is even more unpredictable than he is complicated, and that is saying an awful lot. 

Sometimes nothing happens. He goes radio silent, stops answering his phone. He takes the week off, explains that he's unwell. It's not a lie, after all. He stares at the ceiling for hours on end, mind totally switching off. Drifting aimlessly, walking the line between awareness and unconsciousness. He stops eating or looking after himself, doesn't even bother getting out of bed. 

Other times, he explodes. That can go a few different ways. 

It could be almost anything, really. From crying uncontrollably, on and off for days on end, to getting so anxious he starts shaking. Vibrating like a chihuahua running on nothing but it's spite at the world. 

It's never fun, nor comfortable, but worst of all is when it comes out as an explosion of anger. It feels too much like a real explosion, he scorches everything around him without exception, even the people he loves. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's earth-shattering. Not in a good way, either.

He hopes this won't be one of those times.

His phone rings unexpectedly, pulling him out of his head. He thanks whatever god exists for that; he was beginning to spiral again. He sits up and looks at the caller ID, expecting it to be Don, checking up on him. Or maybe Matt has finally gotten back to him. 

It's... Adam. 

He picks up, immediately. He's not going to let the opportunity to talk to Adam pass him by. He's missed him. So, so much. 

"Hey." He says softly into the phone. He doesn't know what else to say. His hand is violently shaking, and he grips his wrist to still the motion.

"Hey, Uh..." Adam paused, doing the weird little nervous laugh that he always does when he's feeling awkward. God, he missed that sound, he missed him, missed everything about him. "What's with that text? I.... Uh, I thought you might have the wrong number or something."

"No, it was for you." He sighs, shakily. He's not good at apologies. He's not good at admitting his faults. He's not good at this. What does he say? That he's sorry? What good will it do? The damage has been done, he still broke Adam. He breaks everything he touches.

"I've been... a terrible friend. You didn't deserve how the elite treated you."

"Yeah." Adam agreed. Not bitter, but not kindly either. Kenny isn't hurt, he's proud. Proud that Adam knows how to stand up for himself. "I really didn't deserve any of the shit you put me through."

"I'd go as far as to say that I never deserved someone like you in my life. And... I'm glad you're happy, now. They really love you." Kenny says. 

He wants to apologise but it just doesn't feel right. He's so glad that Adam knows his worth now. Knows that he's worth so much more than Kenny can ever give to him.

"I still don't understand." Adam says, gently. As if he knows the topic is sensitive. It is, the wound is bleeding, the nerves are exposed. "What was that text about?"

Kenny pauses, gathering his thoughts. "Even I'm not entirely sure of that, but... I guess it was some words of support." He sighs.

He can feel Adam's surprise through the phone, even though he doesn't speak. Maybe his breath hitches, he's not sure. He just knows Adam is surprised, he knows he would be.

"There's just- there is so many people out there who love you. I don't want you to lose sight of that again... and I guess it was an apology, of a sort. I... didn't want to butt in and make things complicated.. I guess I wanted to remind you that I'm still your friend, you know?" He laughs sadly. "Even if I'm a shitty one. I'd get it if you want nothing to do with me. It's not like there's anything I can do for you, it's not like I can fix any of it."

He's been a terrible friend, he knows it, he hates himself for it, feels the hatred seeping into his bones. He hopes with all that he is that Adam won't push him away. He deserves it, knows he does, but a little, selfish part of him knows he needs someone.

"I'm sorry, Kenny. I just... I don't think I can trust you again. You really hurt me."

It hits him like a freight train. Adam isn't coming back. He really should have seen it coming, he should have known this was going to happen, but it leaves him breathless all the same. 

Why is he cursed to poison everything he touches? Every time he finds something good, something filled with joy and life... he always ruins it. Distorts it, tears it to bloody shreds. He ruins everything every time, no matter how impossibly perfect, he destroys everything he touches.

"I know." He tries to mask the heartbreak, but he knows he's doing a bad job when he hears Adam sigh shakily. He knows he needs to excuse himself, he doesn't know how long he can keep the tears at bay. 

"I should go-" he says, and his voice falters.

"Don't." Adam said, clearly worried. He shouldn't be worried, Kenny isn't his to worry about. He's not worth worrying about. It just shows how good a person Adam is, that he worries over someone who hurt him so callously. Even if it hadn't been malicious. 

"Are you alone?" Adam asks him. 

Kenny he can't help but feel as if Adam is mocking him, even though he knows he's not. Kenny wishes he was, he deserves it. 

He wants to hear him say it, he wants Adam to tell him he hates him. Kenny knows he does, he must. How could he not hate someone like Kenny? He needs Adam to be cruel, wants him to break him into little pieces, he needs to suffer for destroying something perfect.

"Yeah. I'm alone." He says, sounding broken and small. He hates being reminded of just how alone he is. 

"You shouldn't be alone like this, Kenny." Adam sighs. He knows how self destructive Kenny can get. He knows how Kenny spirals. Why is nobody there, taking care of him? Why isn't Don there for him? Where are Matt and Nick?

"I'm calling the Bucks, I'll come stay with you in the meantime." Adam continues, getting up. "Where are you?"

"Room 318." Kenny starts. His lip is wobbling, he's holding in all the tears. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want to be weak.

"I'll be right there, Kenny. You just hang in there, I'm only a minute away. Don't go anywhere."

"Mhm..." he murmured softly as Adam hung up.

"I'm so sorry, I have to go." He stands up, legs a little wobbly from the drink. He’d been spending some time with the Dark Order, just hanging out and having fun, and he hated having to leave them like this. "I don't know if I'll be back. I'm sorry."

Adam hates the look in Anna's eyes. It's a contradiction, sympathy and understanding at what he's trying to do, he's trying to be there for someone who needs him, but he can see he frustration and anger at his clinging to the past. He nods at her in understanding. 

He's angry too, that he can't let him go. He knows that Kenny is probably pulling at strings and manipulating him, but the tiny chance, the possibility that this is a cry for help, one that wasn't even supposed to be heard... he has to do something. Anything.

"He needs me." He said weakly, looking Anna in the eye. "I'm sorry."

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Anna said firmly, giving him an almost-gentle look of sympathy. She may be fiercely protective and absolutely terrifying, but she has a big heart. She knows what Adam is feeling. He's getting a pass, just this once.

He does look back, over at Five, who's wearing a slight frown. It hurts that Adam's leaving, but he knows Kenny needs him right now, more than they do. He nods encouragingly, and Adam whispers his thanks in a hushed tone before heading straight towards the third floor to see Kenny.

He can hear everyone yelling at Five in the distance, assuming it was somehow his fault, and he smiles a little. At least some things are still normal.

He knocks on Kenny's door, and Kenny opens it.

He doesn't look good. There's bags under his eyes, and he's shaking. His eyes are red and filled with tears that he's refusing to let fall from his eyes.

He crosses the distance between them and pulled Kenny into an embrace. It's warm and secure, just like he knows Kenny needs. Kenny holds on tight.

"You're not alone anymore." He says gently. "I'm gonna take care of you until Matt and Nick get here."

Kenny shakes his head, almost frantic, and Adam looks at him, confused. "What's wrong, Kenny?"

"Not Matt and Nick." He says, sounding so timid it makes Adam's stomach turn. "They hate me- this will be all the excuse they need to leave me forever, I can't take that, Adam. I can't!" 

"Shh..." he comforts, stopping Kenny before he can escalate things any further. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna take care of you." 

This version of Kenny is so unlike anything he's ever seen. He's seen so many shades of Kenny. Anything from anger and ego to soft awkwardness and dumb jokes. But he's never seen him like this. He doesn't like it, it reminds him too much of the way he had felt. How long has Kenny been hiding these feelings from everyone?

They sit down, and Adam just holds Kenny's hand tightly. He's already come much further than he ever planned to, no thanks to the whiskey. He had only ever planned to keep Kenny safe until the Bucks got here, and now he's got far more than he ever bargained for.

Seeing Kenny in such a state makes it hard to resist pulling him close. He knows he can't, he doesn't want to, not with how it ended. When this episode has come and passed he'll be tossed aside once again. The tenderness never lasts. It's all for Kenny's own gain, he knows it.

But he can't bring himself to leave, not at a time like this. Not when he looks so fragile, not when he so clearly needs him. Even if it's all a lie, he needs it.

"Can you hold me?" Kenny asks gently. It's shy, and Kenny is never shy. Awkward, yes, but not shy. "The way you used to."

Before he can even say that he doesn't think that's a good idea, he's already holding Kenny tightly. He knows he has to do something about it, he knows he'll be caught in Kenny's web if he doesn't.

Then Kenny looks up at him with those eyes, and Adam can't find the word 'no' anymore. It doesn't exist. Kenny looks up at him with those stunning blue eyes, and that it. He's a goner. 

Kenny's hand combs through his hair, before resting on his cheek. Their eyes lock, and before Adam knows what is happening, Kenny is kissing him. Adam doesn't fight it anymore, he can't. Not when Kenny has allowed him to see this part of himself. His eyes fall shut, and suddenly nothing else matters but Kenny's skin against his.

He needs more, he craves it. Kenny is looking at him with heavy lidded eyes, and even though he knows he shouldn't, he's drunk and Kenny is far from stable, but he knows Kenny wants this. A traitorous part of Adam wants it too, but he's trying not to think about that.

Kenny's arms are wrapped around him, manoeuvring Adam on top of him. He briefly leans down to capture Kenny's lips in a kiss. It's slow and it's sweet and it's perfect, Kenny's hands tangled in his hair. 

"You're pretty like this." Adam whispered in his ear, planting a kiss just below, on his jaw. He trails down, pressing soft kisses against Kenny's flushed skin. He whines softly at the contact, barely audible, as Adam showers him with affection. Kisses across his jawline, the hollow of his throat, his collarbones. "All sweet and soft and needy." 

—

He knows this room isn't his. He knows that   
a series of choices, some bad and some downright stupid, had led him here, to a bed that isn't his. 

Now, normally that wouldn't be a problem. Sure, it'd be awkward, depending on how well he knew the person, if they bumped into each other backstage. Anyone who has met him has already seen him at rock bottom, so it's not really that big a deal. 

Unfortunately the bed he's ended up in is Kenny's, and that is a much bigger problem.

He looks over at Kenny, and smiled a little. He looks peaceful, like he feels a lot better. That's great, but it means that Adam really doesn't want to be there when he wakes up. If Kenny is back to his cocky asshole self, he doesn't think he can handle that.

He knows he's fucked up. He was over Kenny, he was moving on, and he went back and ruined all his progress.

Kenny shifts in his sleep and Adam feels like he could die right there. There's no getting out of this unnoticed. They're going to have to communicate, no matter how much they both suck at it.

Adam gets dressed, at least then he has some illusion of dignity. He lays beside Kenny, staying close to him. He can feel his warmth, even though they aren't touching. 

Kenny wakes up, and the first thing he does is glare at him. It's not subtle, either. 

"I know you hate me." Adam said, gently, trying desperately to keep his voice level. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, after last night. I've never seen you that upset before."

"I'm doing just fine." He snapped. "Get out." 

"Kenny, you aren't fine. Why were you so worried Matt and Nick would leave you?"

"I said get out."

"What's going on, Kenny?" 

"Out."

"Why are you hiding from me?"

"Because I'm jealous, okay?" He sighs, pulling his knees to his chest. "You have everything. The Dark Order all love you so much. They love each other so much. You have a little found family." 

"Don't you have that in Matt and Nick?"

"They don't want anything to do with me. I try, but they never pick up, they never call, they never text me back. They hate Don, too." 

"Any idea why?"

"No. But when I ask they never tell me. I'm so tired of being lonely. I miss you. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss Kota." He wipes his eyes, taking a shuddery breath. "It's so fucking stupid. I have the title, I'm finally the best, I should be happy." 

"Kenny... I don't think Don is what you think he is."

"You really think I'm an idiot, don't you?" He wipes his eyes again. "I know he's manipulating me. I don't care, he's all I have anymore. I should just let it happen."

"That's such an unhealthy mindset, Kenny."

"Look who's talking!" He called out, indignantly

"Exactly! I would know plenty about being gaslit and manipulated, and I know how hard it is to break that kind of cycle. They grind you down, take all the spirit out of you until you're a shell they can control..." he shudders at the memory. "They isolate you... make you dependent on them. And even when you know it's happening, you don't care because you have nothing else to turn to.” 

His eyes are shut, his fist is clenched. It’s so clear that FTR’s treatment of him is still a very raw, uncomfortable feeling to talk about.

He looks in Kenny’s eyes. He doesn’t know what he sees, but he knows it has to stop.

“But, look at me, Kenny. You can't give up. You can't let him win. It's not going to be easy, but I know you can do this. I believe in you. So please... find your way out of this. When it's all said and done, I'm sure we've a space for you. You know where to find us."

He walks to the door, but pauses, smiling over his shoulder

“Someone, somewhere, is fighting for you. As long as you remember that, you’ll never be alone.”


End file.
